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There is VERY Little Grace in my Martha

May 17, 2012

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Grace means you’re in a different universe from where you had been stuck, when you had absolutely no way to get there on your own.

– Anne Lamont, Plan B

That is so true, I swear. I love Anne Lamont lately with her fabulous radicalness and dreadlocked beauty. Her faith gives me peace, it makes me feel like a normal Christian woman. Not the fake “everything is perfect” and I’m the most holy Christian to walk the face of the earth kind of Christian that gives Christians a bad name. No. She is a self proclaimed politically liberal woman trying to hold it all together and doing so through her faith in Jesus. She blows up the stereotype of the politically conservative and bigoted Jesus lover. We aren’t all like that, it is this negative portrayal of holy roller types that give the whole thing a bad name.

I’m a Jesus lover; follower of His word, I fall off the wagon now and then, and I definitely don’t fit into the stereotype of the Christian conservative.

I am born again. And again. And again.

I feel this pull toward Jesus, toward His teachings. Toward Christianity and toward grace. I can no longer ignore it, the force is bigger than me. It is bigger than anything this world has to offer. Bigger than our churches and our Bibles, bigger than our political leaders and our governments. Jesus is bigger. We cannot contain what He is, only try to learn from what He taught.

Love.

It must be that different universe thing from the quote up there.

I was stuck, for so long in this perfection facade. It was a self defeating universe where I sabotaged myself daily. Nothing lived up to expectations, and they were expectations that came from nowhere, yet they were everywhere — I was suffocating in expectations.

I referred to it in my last post, I was stuck in “Martha” mode. That’s what I called her, my exhausting alter ego.

Martha.

I had to kill her. Stuck her five feet under, my alter ego named Martha, I do not miss you. Life has been much more peaceful now that you are gone.

Now I can become just what I am – Joy.

Peace is joy at rest, and joy is peace on it’s feet”

– another Anne Lamont quote, Plan B

Peace 🙂

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. Joann permalink
    May 17, 2012 8:45 pm

    You and I are on very similar journeys as I have said before, and I think you have too. Keep seeking Joy!! It’s all so good and so worth it!!

  2. Jungle Jim permalink
    May 18, 2012 4:58 pm

    ‘Grace means you’re…” just passin’ through, Mister Natural; Globe Propaganda.

    • May 18, 2012 6:50 pm

      Great Jim, thanks for your comment.

      Sent from my iPhone

  3. May 21, 2012 3:18 am

    Ah, yes. I love Anne. She makes me feel sane when all around me isn’t–or maybe it’s that she helps me see that my craziness is okay. Her authenticity is appealing. I need to read Plan B again. Thanks for the reminder.
    As for being Martha…I am Martha! in name and action. Like you, I’m learning not to be. However, I will keep my name, Martha, as it was given to me in love. But I will shed her tendencies to attain a slower pace. to set boundaries. to experience peace. to breathe. yes.

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