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Sample of My Universe: Chapter Three

September 12, 2011

Click on the links below to read the tasty little samples prior to the deliciousness of this one. Ha, as if I produce delicious writing samples – well – in my head they are rather yummy. Anyhoo…

The Introduction:
https://whileitwasfallingapart.wordpress.com/2011/09/07/sample-of-my-universe

Chapter One:
https://whileitwasfallingapart.wordpress.com/2011/09/08/sample-of-my-universe-chapter-one

Chapter Two:
https://whileitwasfallingapart.wordpress.com/2011/09/09/sample-of-my-universe-chapter-two

On to chapter three,
“instead of meeting me with compassion and empathy, his anger and resentment reared up and met my anxiety head on. My anxiety and his lack of compassion were like mixing oil and water – no wait – more like mixing gasoline and a match. Sprinkle some good ole anger on top and we made sparks, then one heck of a fire. Without the love and compassion I needed from my spouse, my anxiety began to spiral into madness. My a-fore-mentioned “proverbial plate” turned into more like some sort of a circus act. Yea, I was like that plate twirler, with the sticks, but all of my plates were loaded and the higher my anxiety climbed the faster my plates would spin. I was trying to control this insane situation and all the people in it, until I completely lost my sense of self. My identity vanished with all of the labels: wife, mother, caregiver, granddaughter, and I was determined to be the best at all of them – so basically, I was no good at any. I needed to slow down and take care of myself but I was too busy. I came home in a rush of anxiety and guilt and tried to create this calm and relaxing environment in the basement for my little family. But the resentment from my husband was always brewing and I couldn’t stop twirling. There was nothing peaceful about that. ”
– from “My Universe Came Together, While It Was Falling Apart – by ME

Oh boy, that was me when we brought our daughter home from the hospital, which was located over 3 hours away. Anxiety was all up in my face. Hated it – with a fabulous snap of my fingers.

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